Reaching for Beauty, joy, goodness and love. . .
What if God really was beautiful, joyful, good and loving? What if the gospel was true and that everything that separates me from receiving that love has been removed by His initiative and love for me in sacrificing His Son Jesus?
It seems to me that all pain and suffering is a result of us being removed from the completeness of God’s beauty, joy, love and goodness. I do not believe that God is the author of pain and suffering, but I cannot see any other possibility than it being His chief tool for helping us come to the end of ourselves. As we celebrate Ash Wednesday today we are reminded that we are in a world full of evil. Sin in us and sin in the world and the evil one himself wars against us being pulled into the beauty, joy, love and goodness of God.
I have found myself many times thrust into the depths of sin in me and others. I often feel empty and in need of God’s stream of life, but instead walk by the fountain and eat a handful of sand. I often am “frustrated” (the Christian word for angry) with people and circumstances. I see so few people who live in God’s beauty, joy, love and goodness that I wonder if it is all real. I see so much sin and selfishness and especially so many closed hearts that I am overwhelmed. So many of us are only willing to go as far as we have with God, because the next step would require relinquishing an illusion of control over God. I have seen myself use God’s word as a substitute for God’s presence and found the end result to be a boring, dutiful relationship with a boss who cares little beyond me getting the job done to His satisfaction.
Today as I meditate on healing I am one who is in need of God’s healing touch. Evil has had it’s way with me and pulled me away from beauty, joy, love and goodness. I have allowed hurt and pride to reign in, where there once was deep love there is now self-protection and where there once was initiative to embrace others there is hiding and avoidance.
So, I am a soul that is in need of healing. I wonder as I think about the leper what it must have been like to see the first symptoms take hold in his life. When one by one his friends had withdrawn their relationships with him and when he was finally put away from the people. His journey like mine and everyone else I know was filled with many moments of pain, betrayal and deep loss. Yet, in this moment he recognizes there is hope for him. Though he may have given up hoping years before in this moment he reaches out to be touched by the only one who has ever cured his disease. Even in his question it is obvious that he knows Jesus is the answer to His need, but He does not know how Jesus will respond. This is where I find my soul today. What about you?
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